Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Bible

Sos I was thinkin' about Tha Bible yesterday. I tried callin' Tom to let him in on my thinks but we was both kinda busy, so I guess thats what the internets are for.

They say Tha Bible is the best-selling book of all time, right? Well I was thinkin about that statistic an' I think that even though its probably true there are probably factors that give The Bible unfair advantages.

Foist: The Bible has been around longer than like, any other book, ever. First in print, probably the only book in print, too, for a hella long time as well. Gave it a head start.

Second: Like a million versions of it exist. Every time some guy thinks "man, I don't like the stuff the priest says I can't do. I think I'll start my own, slightly different, religion" he re-writes the thing so that it leaves out the part he didn't like. Example: every bible since the King Henry VIII Bible has left out the passage about not marrying, divorcing, and either killing or imprisoning more than a half-dozen women, while every bible before it keeps that part in.

Third: People each end up owning like six of 'em. I can think of maybe two or three books that I have more than one of, and in every case it is because I lost a copy, got a new one, and then found the lost one (this always, always happens). However, I must have like six or seven Bibles, zero of which I went out and purchased of my own accord. Baby's First Bible, X-treem Bible for Teens, like three little New Testaments, Some Other Bibles that I took home from Sunday School ten years ago and never brought back. I never read them, I keep them all in the same place, and they are probably all based on teh same version of the thing, so it isn't like if I got in a Bibel analyzing mood they would be any help.

Thats all I got.


  1. So I was thinking that is unfair to that those guys, whats they called? Oh yeah, the Gideons, yeah, well they skew it even more. They buy what, like a hudred thousand bibles and then they don't read or keep dem. They just stamp "Distributed by the Gideons" in the front and then leave them in my hotel room for me to find in the drawer next to the yellow pages. Does that one even ever leave the drawer after that. No. Well one did. In a Tom Cruise movie: Mission Impossible. When you are looking at Job 3:14 and stuff and it is from the Drake Hotel or something like that in Chicago and it is a Gideon Bible.

    So yeah, I think you are part of that bible distrubuting machine by actually using a Gideon Bible.

  2. Woah, hold on a damn minute, guy.

    First of all, good point about those Guideon guys. They do buy like a shit ton of Bibles and just give them to hotels.

    Second of all, what do you mean I'm part of that machine? I don't work for no Guideons, I work for a guy named fuckin' Sal and I fix fuckin' cars.